One day at a time

So another opportunity is presenting itself - to get involved as a sponsor for the HS group. I feel very inadequate for this position - but usually when I'm scared and that's the only excuse I have for not doing something means that I'm supposed to do it. I was just asking for a way to serve - a way to increase my sphere of influence - where I actually impact the Kingdom of Jesus Christ for eternity. I want to share my experiences and stop believing the lies that my experiences aren't worth enough to share. Dear God - help me to make the right decision - there are so many reasons not too - but none worth repeating. God, give me the strength to put myself out there - to allow myself to be vulnerable and allow myself the chance to fail. I need help. I want to be a part of the Kingdom and I want to look in your eyes when I get to the heaven part of eternity and know I served the best I knew how. Eternity - what a concept! Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever again. No concept of time - just of being. Wow. Jesus that is insane! Totally and completely beyond the grasp of my miniscule mind. To just be - to just be with the great I am. Wow. I can't understand. I can't even understand that you would take infinity and place it in the finite. To actually humble yourself to the point to become one of us. To subject yourself to the curse of the fall - to remain perfect - yet to receive the ultimate punishment and rise again to life. It's the story of your life, death and life. I heard an illustration that was wonderful - A father was trying to explain to his daughter why, even though her mother was a Christian, she died. He saw a truck and its shadow and asked his daughter if she would rather be run over by the truck or by the shadow of the truck. His daughter kinda laughed and said, "Of course, Daddy, I would rather be run over by the shadow because it wouldn't hurt as much." He said, "Jesus Christ was run over by the Cross to allow us to be run over only by the shadow." Our physical bodies are dying - cursed by the fall - what was good was corrupted. But, oh Mighty Father, what a Love we have - to make it possible that we have the opportunity to only be run over by the shadow of death - to die to this life but be able to life fully in Christ - to be able to laugh at the second death with joy knowing, but never fully understanding, the gift we have been given. To be giddy with the knowledge we are FREE. Oh glorious God - the one who gives us the freedom to reject him so we can experience the fullness of bliss of accepting him. He is the only way. His love is why he died and his glory and power is why he lives today. He is and he is waiting. Why do I forget and worry about little things - Oh glorious Father give me the strength to remember you and have the opportunity to actually discover how awesome you are - Thank you for protecting us - for giving us the chance to be with you forever even though we have earned death. O glorious God - the reason I live - Why I live one day at a time - I just want to dance with joy and be silly because He Loves Me. Jehovah - Yeshua - My Lord, My God. I love you - Holy Spirit thank you for your guidance and wisdom - pray for me and help me to glorify you and glorify my God and the love of my soul - My one and only. O Lord, My God.

Motivation

Can I have senioritis even though I'm not in school anymore? Lack of motivation and lack of pressing deadlines is a bad combination.
I had a wrestling match with my brother - At least he can't completely beat me yet - especially since he's still smaller than me.
I got a cool CD for Christmas from my roomie - Anna Nalick - I'd like to be able to write clever lyrics. I think that's why I like Switchfoot so much - just the way he puts words together is unique. I actually had to look up two words from the lyrics of the new Switchfoot CD - it sure made me feel like my vocabulary is lacking. But seriously, how many times in everyday language do you use pedantic and avarice? I hope I'm not the only one who needed the dictionary to define those words. My favorite on their CD is Golden - read the lyrics and you'll know how I feel sometimes.

You should really listen to this song -

Golden by Switchfoot

She's alone tonight,
With a bitter cup and,
She's undone tonight,
She's all used up,

She's been staring down the demons,
Who've been screaming she's just another so and so,
Another so and so


You are golden,
You are golden, Child

You are golden,
(Don't let go,)
(Don't let go tonight)


There's a fear that burns,
Like trash inside
And you're ashamed of the curse,
That burns your eyes

You've been hiding in your bedroom,
Hoping this isn't not how the story has to go
It's not the way it goes, It's your book now,
You're,

Golden,
You are golden, Child

You are golden,
(Don't let go,)
(Don't let go tonight)


You're a lonely soul,
Inlet of broken hearts
You're far from home,
It's a perfect place to start

(Yeah!)
(Burn,)
(Burn, Burn!)

So this final verse,
Is a contradiction
And the more we learn,
The less we know

We've been talkin' about a feeling,
We both know inside but couldn't find the words
I couldn't write this verse,
I've seldom been so sure,
About anything before

Golden,
You are Golden, Child

You are Golden,
(Don't let go,)
(Don't let go tonight)

This world is a dead man down (Golden, you are,)
Every breath is a singing crown away, (Golden, Child, you are,)
Like some debilitated king, (Golden, don't let go,)
Don't let go tonight

Earth Spins and your mind goes round' (Golden, you are,)
Green comes on the frozen ground, (Golden, Child, you are,)
And everything will be made new again, (Golden,)
Like freedom and spring, (Golden, Golden,)
Hey, like freedom and spring, (Golden, you are, hey,)
Like freedom and spring (Golden, Child, you are,)
(Gold...)

Merry Christmas

My sister is 15 today - woohoo - she's a cutie. I'm not sure what to write now but I'll come of with something later.
You can see pictures of my and my friends here: http://unk.facebook.com/photos.php?id=76803167&l=f2a81

I'm trying to get my thoughts together. Trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do. Is is wrong that I want more in this life and don't know, in some ways, how to get it? I have Christ as my Saviour and know that I need to pursue and become more like him, but its hard to know what to do. I'm used to having steps - A to B and you get to C. But this isn't a step-by-step program. Just one day at a time - knowing where I am now is where I'm supposed to be, but knowing I could do more. My job and my family - places I am secure in - but I want to serve. Opportunities are presenting themselves - playing guitar and working on a Web site in the future - it's service - but I don't feel like it's enough. I see the poverty and pain - but I don't know how to help. I give money - but I don't want that to be all I do - just fund and never get involved. I need to remember something I learned - its not the successes I have that matter - in regards to my relationship with Christ - but being willing and making myself available. I learned that in Freiburg, Germany. I am still doing God's will even if no one wants to talk to me about God - I only need to be willing.